Silent Goodbye

Remember the times when you feel like giving everything up?

2012-02-19T17:19:00.000+08:00

Just a heads up, if you're not comfortable talking about depression, or suicides, or cutting.
I suggest you leave,
I'll be posting several videos that I've randomly picked to watch today.
Videos that made me shed tears and curse myself for not being grateful enough.
One of the videos requires you to be 18 years old and above,
just another warning.

Issues such as self-harm in any form is nothing for you to ~~joke~~ about,
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I've personally heard my 'friends' laughing and scoffing whenever such issues are brought up,
it was as if they think there are people out there who hurts themselves just for attention,
and they actually categorized them as weak in life.

No.
~~Just no.~~

People need to slap themselves or swim with the sharks if they ever make fun of another person's self-harm issues.
Watch this video
This is a pretty gory video, just so you know.

Celebrities are humans too,

they feel, and they get hurt.

Demi Lovato is one of the strongest person I've ever heard of.

She's brave to speak out about this issue.

Don't judge people.

I have so much respect for people who have been through shit and yet they try to fight against it,
I have my share of depression days but it's definitely not as bad as others.
I just want to be able to do something, to show that they are not alone.
But how?

I have no say in telling them how they should pick up the pieces and let the time heals,
that is not enough.
But I just want to be there for those who's going through a really bad time and just mainly be there.
There's so many people who's afraid and ashamed of themselves as well,
please don't be, I want to help.
I don't know how to, I just want to.

They want attention you say?
Seriously? That's all you can think of saying after watching these videos?
Well fuck you then.
Fuck you, and your stupidity.

I always feel hopeless whenever I watch videos like this,
I would leave a comment in hope that it would make them smile,
and at least they'd know they are not alone.
I wish I could change all this.
I really do.

Whoever's out there who happens to see this and needs someone to talk to,
I'm here for you.

Brb. Shedding more tears.
I'm so blessed.

XOXO
Suezie

Another typical Friday night?

2012-02-18T00:15:00.002+08:00

I get emotional during night easily :)

It's so easy to just let everything haunts you back,

one by one,

one after another.

It's somehow much more easier to be sentimental and just,

don't give a damn about anything else but to watch your flashbacks playing in your mind endlessly.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post,

I just thought I'd let my thoughts flow through my fingers and type out whatever I'm thinking at the moment.

Oh look, food!

I'm seriously hungry at the moment, and it's past midnight,

that's not good.

People said not to regret your mistakes,

cause they made you who you are today.

Even so, I still feel as if it was a waste of time to get involved in the first place.

Idk why.

But I'm still regretting all my actions years ago.

~~I guess it's just a scar that will never really heal.~~

I give up.

This post is useless as fuck hahaha.

Bye beautiful :)

XOXO

Suezie aka Darkling

Happy Valentine's Day :)

2012-02-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

TIS, THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY
FALALALALAAAAA LALA LAA LAAAAA.

Are there no official songs for Valentine's Day? :)

Anyway
Happy Valentine's Day to whoever who happens to stumble across this blog of mine.
You're looking beautiful,
so smile and smile and smileeeee.

Some people are just so anti-Valentine hahaha
it's sad,
cause it's a special day to show your loves one extra love!
Although I strongly agree that we should show that everyday, not just today.

It doesn't have to be a chemistry love [boyfriend girlfriend love]
it can be your love towards your family, your friends, you food, your house, your dog, your cat, your mirror
and last but not least,
yourself :)

STAY GORGEOUS
I'm gonna listen to this song for the rest of my night.

Zach's voice is as sexy as fuck.

I'm in love with this song.

PEACE OUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.

XOXO

Suezie aka Darkling

Nostalgic moments

2012-02-11T17:33:00.000+08:00

I have been going through to my previous posts in this blog
I remember when I got hundred views everyday on this blog omg
That was amazing, considering the crap I always type,
and why didn't anyone tell me that my wordings are far too colourful??

Now that I hardly update it since last year,
people stop viewing it out of habit,
no regrets there.
I'm not gonna promote my blog every time I update now :)

I witnessed so many changes in life and people, and even myself
I read back on how Joyce and I became friends,
how little problems got me so down when I was younger,
how I lost some important people in my life and I got through that,
those happy moments,
nothing can erase it man :)
Nothing.

I gotta admit though, it make me cringes in awkwardness whenever I read back those posts,
I wonder few years later,
would I still cringe in embarrassment when I read back this post?
I think so :D

Life is awesome so far.
I'm not gonna let it take me down, at least,
not yet.

XOXO
Suezie

Like Falling Stars :)

2012-02-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

If your life is perfect so far, I sincerely pity you.
Sooner or later you'll be hit by troubles and problems and perhaps by then you'd be clueless on how to solve them yourself.
I on the other hand, have face problems but they are not the worst kind [I've seen much worse happens to others],
problems and situation are things that make you who you are today,
whether you like it or not.

Today, this blog post is going to be dedicated to a friend of mine whom I have never met,
she's from Singapore, and we met through twitter,
I honestly felt that we get along better than some people I meet everyday,
just saying.
Her name is Ainee, and she's a beautiful person.

Whoever had hurt her are fools who deserves to be bitch slap.

For some reason I'm listening to this song while blogging all this

This song actually inspired me to wrote a story that I'm still working on

Keep in mind that this post is for her,

I just want her to know that she's not alone when it comes to friendship dramas,

I'm sharing mine today.

Right here, right now.

You can leave now :)

When I was 16, it was one of my hardest year ever,

Funny isn't it, when that year was supposed to be a "Sweet Sixteen" year.

Trust me, nothing dramatic happened,

I just had a hard time going through phases of finding out my true friends,

and found out who were willing to hurt me just because they were mad.

To cut the story short, a bunch of my high school girlfriends [five of them] were pissed at me cause I decided that I don't fit in into the group any more.

I can see why, and I was not surprised when they became cold towards me.

What surprised me is that they even decided to spend some of their time to spam at my blog, taunting me with those ugly names.

I have no idea where did the chatbox went,

but it used to be on the right side of this blog.

Screw the chatbox, no one uses it now anyway since I stopped blogging last year :)

Anyway, what hurts the most is this particular close friend of mine [who is a friend of the girls] spread rumours about me.

Rumours that are 100% bullshit, he went to tell an ex of mine that I dated him just to be popular,

that's the stupidest rumours I've ever heard in my life about me.

If you know me well, you'd know I'm that sort who take feelings seriously,

It's so ridiculous even up till now I wonder how I managed to stay calm and didn't confront him about it.

I forgave him long time ago about that,

but no matter what, the scar will always be there.

I wasn't even sure if my ex was lying or just making up stories.

He, that close friend of mine, are one of my closest bitch ever.

We've always been together through thick and thin,

and when we're 17, we got through that drama,

and we're closer than ever now.

He know who he is, and if he happens to read this,

I'm sorry for bringing this up again.

I'm skipping the details about the rumours,

it's not worth recalling all those moments when I first heard about it.

The rumour might seem mild, but the effect it takes on me was worse that I thought.

All who I saw as my closest friends are all against me,

I tried my best to held my head up high alone whenever we passed by each other in the school,

I had time to myself, and to be alone as much as I want to.

I was not entirely alone though, I have friends in school still, those in different forms and classes.

But they are not the ones who know me well, who knows my secrets, my dreams, everything.

I couldn't breathe, ~~and I was suffocating with depression.~~

My emo phase came back and occasionally I punched the door at the back building while I was alone.

I remembered writing "Everyone happens for a reason",

"Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end"

over and over again on the door with a pencil.

It's like I was fighting against this depression side of me,

I felt like I was losing the purpose in my life when all I tried to do was to be myself.

Writing all this brings back how I felt,

I can remember everything as if it all just happened hours ago,

it's so easy to recall bad memories, oh the irony.

For months this goes on, ~~and I hardly show that side of me.~~

I was bottled up cause I trained myself not to show any emotion,

whether they were taunting me, or laughing loudly whenever I walked past them.

And then, things got better when another girl transferred to my school at the same year,

we're best friends up till now.

I don't know what I'd do without her,

it was as if it was meant to be.

I'm happy to say that it all ends well,

the girls even apologized to me and I have no hard feelings towards them :)

All ends well, that's true.

But the scar will forever be there,

reminding me the time I was betrayed, back-stabbed, confused, and hurt.

And here I am, stronger [and wiser?]

I'm well aware that there are so many other people who have it much worse than I do,

I've met the girl who is always abused by her dad,

the girl who lost both of her parents in one day,

one who was psychically bullied by her so called-friends,

and many many more.

Fuck those people who bring you pain and ain't sorry about it,

karma will bite them back someday.

Omg I don't know whether this helps Ainee,just want you to know that you're not alone.You are never alone, your self-esteem shouldn't be this low,you're beautiful, and you're awesome.

I sincerely hope we can meet each other someday in the future when we're older :)

XOXO

Darkling Lovecraft aka Suezie

When life hits you hard, you're allow to cry, and then get over it.

2012-02-03T19:18:00.000+08:00

I'm having account test tomorrow,
and was depressed about it cause I know I'll barely pass that thing.
But on the bright note,
I found books in library to help me with my subjects!

So many things happened in college these days,
but I hardly dare to blog about it cause who knows,
people might take it the wrong way their feelings might just get hurt unintentionally.

Sometimes I'm just tired of life,
but then I thought of many others I've met around the world who has it much worse than I do.
I stopped to think about the family I've got, the friends who's always there, and even my guinea pig who gets excited whenever he sees me lurking around.

Life is tough but we're gonna make history by surviving until I've met my goals.
I'm never gonna give up,
even though I feel like breaking down now,
I will be okay.

XOXO
Darkling Lovecraft aka Suezie

Second chance? Maybe?

2012-01-29T17:18:00.002+08:00

My blog decides to stop being a bitch and lemme blog with colors.
Thank you blog.
I don't have a name for you,
but thank you.
Oh wait, you're my Public Diary,
ma P-D ;)

I still have this habit of typing nonsense.
I'm gonna regret this so much when I wanna revive all these memories when I'm old and toothless.

My life is a bliss by the way,
thank you for asking LOL

People change, duh.
Who doesn't?
But it's how you both maintain the friendship,
that would overcome both of your differences and still be together.

Waynie is leaving for Switzerland to pursue his degree how a year and half.
Idk what I'd do without that dude.
We've been close since 2007
This is our sixth year of friendship lmao
I just had to count that.

Anyway, it's going to suck so bad when he leaves.
I might just cry.
Or something.

P.S College was... extraordinary. No joke.

P.P.S I might start blogging regularly. If I can.

XOXO
Suezie

What

2012-01-29T16:53:00.003+08:00

This is ridiculous

Testing testing testing

2012-01-29T16:51:00.000+08:00

One last time...

2011-11-18T13:03:00.001+08:00

I wanna see a rainbow hereeeee

FTW

2011-11-18T13:00:00.001+08:00

Now my mood is officially ruined.

By blogspot.

WHY YOU NO COLORS ANYMORE?!

:'(

"I'm sexy and you know it"

2011-11-18T12:28:00.006+08:00

It's been said and done, every beautiful thoughts' been already sung,
and I guess right now here's another one,
So your melody will play on and on, with the best of em'.

I miss blogging :)

I kid you not.

But I have been using my mum's laptop for the past few months instead of this old PC.

Believe it or not, it's easier to blog on PC currently.

SO!

How are ya old blog? =D

I think I said it wrong,

How am I doing lately is more like it =)

Oh the horror.

But nah, this year was a 'honeymoon'

as my mum phrased it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I didn't study at all.

I just don't... spend most of my time doing maths or reading ICT stuff.

Instead, I became a Twitterer [is that the word for it? A person who uses Twitter a LOT],

a Instagramer [Instagram],

Skyper [screw MSN, Skpe is much more simpler],

Tumblrer [it's been said that on the outside it looks dead boring, but when you're in it it's like fuqing Narnia]

Facebooker? Duh. But I don't feel the urge to check it every time already though.

What else.... Oh! I found out this website, Wattpad.

It's pretty awesome for a person like me :D

Ohkay. I wanna upload more pictures to make this post much more interesting.

But it's all in my iPod so...

To Be Continue :D

If there's no colors other than boring blue words,

stupid Blogspot then.

Traitor.

This is not the right time

2011-09-25T15:19:00.001+08:00

Try blogging from my iPod at the moment.
Not as fun as computer but it'll be handy in the future right?
Right now I'm obsessed with writing.
Hence, my sudden urge to blog and filling up empty pages in my diary.

Sorry if this post doesn't come out as the usual.
=)

Best time to blog.

2011-08-22T01:12:00.002+08:00

Blame It On September
New single from Allstar Weekend
This is the best so far, I swear.
Zachary David Porter got a gift alright.

Note my lack of blogging lately?
Was kinda on purpose.
To see how long I can handle from not blogging.

Replaying Blame it on September like mad,
for once I'm worried that it's against the nature to keep replaying a song so many times.
And yes I feel rather emotional,
but that's a good thing right?
Better to feel something than nothing at all.

So yes. Sem break is over, or is it study break?
LOL It's only a week but nevertheless I spend everyday wonderfully.
Outings with Waynie, and 2nd one with Mic, Wickedder, and BFG.
Watched Captain America, I dislike the ending LOL
Horrible Bosses, HILARIOUS to the max ;D
Zookeeper, funny, and cute =)

And some days just lazy-ing around the house.
Organize mini concerts that no one is aware of,
I always sing better when I'm home alone =D

Stalk my celebrity crush [CameroncoughsQuiseng]
found out another boyband call One Direction through twitter
Their [first] song "What Makes You Beautiful" is amazing,
I adore the lyrics.

Went to Queens on Friday with my family [except dad] like we initially planned
Hit Borders when I suddenly saw several 70%
Kinda panicked haha was so excited.
Had to drag my sis away from the magazines section.
Met Chase while picking out books with siblings =)
In the end we bought 10 novels for only over a hundred
:D :D :D
I've finished around 3 of them by now.

And at PISA [Sunday]
we bought SIX books of William Shakespeare for only 60 bucks!
I'm gonna improve my english by reading it yo ;)

That's all for now. Mainly I want you to listen to the song.
Cause I think it's worth listening to.
As you can see, this would be my 2nd video posting up on blog.
It's taking a damn long time to upload,
but worth the wait,
worth the wait.

P.S WHAT AM I DOING STILL AWAKE WHEN I'VE GOT FEVER AND COLLEGE STARTS TOMORROW?!

P.P.S 18/8 was my brother's b'day. I love him with all my heart =) Not all siblings are close to each other, so I'm grateful to have a friend in him.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

Hello August :)

2011-08-08T20:37:00.005+08:00

Life doesn't stop for anyone.

I've always love August =)
One of my girls' birthday and my brother's birthday is on Aug.
So far, August has been great to me.
One of my wish came true, but more about that later ;)

Vic is Zach's brotha!
Zachary gotta be the most awkward yet sexayy dancer I've ever seen.

Ahhh life has been wonderful =)
For once I had nothing to be mad or frustrated about.
It's like, the feeling of so free.

I learn not to take every single thing [too] seriously
and end up being upset about nothing.

It'd be just a waste of time, my time,
don't you think?

THAT IS SO ME
That's why I'd get mad when my sis steals the blanket LOL

Is it me,
or tumblring at night is much more fun?
Like, the posts is funnier and more of something I can relate to.
LOL GOODBYE BEAUTY SLEEP.

At the moment I'm feeling darn optimist
There's nothing could bring me downn!

Any of you heard of Pottermore?
If no, Click Here To Checkout The Website
Then watch the video, J.K.Rowling would explained to you what is it all about ;)

I'm too lazy to explain what is it all about,
but basically, from 31 July till 6 Aug you are allowed to try to register
And it's not easy since it's not 24/7 but only for a few hours per day.
Not to mention there are question you need to answer, FAST.
Michelle helped me, and I got it! :D

Not entirely true,
just saying.

So yes. I know I'm not a Potterhead.
I've never read any of the books until two days ago,
I read the first book.
It was not bad, rather amusing and very similar to the first film.

But getting Pottermore means it's another opportunity for me to use my imaginations,
and WRITE :D
I looooove writing stories.
Not that I'm good at it but I enjoy it =)
And that's what matters the most right?

Be silly.
BE SILLY.
No problem.

If am not mistaken, only 1 million are able to sign up for it.
So I'm literally the one in a million XD
No worries to those who still want to join!
It'd open to all by October.
But for now, it's just us million people who get a head start to shape things up [I guess]

Please tell me I'm not alone when it comes to this awkward situation
LOL

So yes, getting in Pottermore successfully made my day =)
But I haven't got to the best news yet.
:D :D :D
If you creeped on my profile often you'd know what I might be referring to already.
I'm still so happy about it =)
Like, REALLY happy.

This is just breath taking.

I have been a HUGE fan of Allstar Weekend since May.
I'm rather obsessed about them, particularly about Cameron ;)
As some of you might know, I have a twitter as well.
And on 6/8/2011 10:47pm,
ALLSTAR WEEKEND FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER :D

I literally danced when I saw the email saying,
@Allstar Weekend is now following you on Twitter.
They might as well say,
!@#$%ALLSTARWEEKENDNOWKNOWYOUEXISTS!!ANDTHEYWANNACREEPONYOU!!

My wish just came true ;)

Good things happen when it's my birth month hahaha!
I was really, really honored as well.
They have 174,859 followers so far, and they followed only 15,094.
That's like, 8.6% they followed back.
x)

I remembered saying I'd like Allstar Weekend to follow me back before my birthday.
I guess I just got my birthday present from em'.
HAHA Okay this sounds silly but seriously,
it makes me so happy x)

This gotta be the cutest collar I've ever seen.
Oh look, it's edible as well!

I'm so sorry that this whole post is just about Pottermore and Allstar Weekend =)
It's not my prob you creep on my blog :P
KIDDING.
If you read my blog often,
You must be insane but THANK YOU.

P.S I'm getting tired of IT class. It's just plain boring and a waste of my time.

P.P.S I miss my beauty sleep. Why can't I sleep early anymore?!

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

It's time to let things flow, ya know?

2011-07-31T22:39:00.003+08:00

There's countless times I wish I can get away from everyone.
Just sit there and enjoy the world.
With no worries or whatsoever.

I can be such an anti-social person sometimes :P
I push people away when I'm cranky,
but I try not to do that anymore.
I'm surprised how many people put up with me, up till now.

I'd totally eat that everyday for breakfast .__.
So colorful!

So this morning, I saw there were a few slices of cucumber and tomato left,
I took one each and headed to Day's cage.
I stopped when I saw her lying there in an awkward position.
.
..
...
I'd like to say I took it calmly and I could think straight.
But no,

I didn't.

I need a vacation
A REAL vacation.
Preferably with my girls.

I knew Day is dying, everyone is.
But I didn't know it'd be today.
For the whole day I was depressed, and cranky.
Nobody knew why until my mum asked me to give Day some spoiled grapes,
and that was during Dinner.

Funny how they don't notice a thing,
until my mum mentioned Day.

Emma Watson
So Freaking gorgeous
There goes my self-esteem.

I'm too tired to type long post today.
I need to sleep early, and to get up early.
Visiting my dad everyday can be tiring too.
I hope he'd get to come back tomorrow.

Oh wait, it's 1st of August already isn't it?

Hmmm..

I can't wait to go out soon.
I need to release some stress that I shouldn't be having in the first place.

I hate sleeping early.
I always wind up waking in the middle of the night,
and spend minutes staring at the dark there doing nothing.

And not become who people want you to be.

I just had a phone call that made my night =D
Waynie is back in Penang, for goood!!
Omg I miss that dude so much.

Already made plans to sneak out tomorrow night,
just like old times.

Cinderella Story
I love the song they pick for this scene.
"I'll be" by Edwin McCain

Pottermore is launching and I gotta admit it sounds pretty interesting.
I'll try my luck joining the team =)

When was the last time I slept early?

Seriously?
Only 55 out of 100 people can do so?

Im'ma head to bed soon,
and hope Sue Ki won't be talking in her sleep or kick me again.

Oh.
And before I end this post.
Thank you Hean Tee, Onn Sun, and Aun Wei for that night.
Seriously.

P.S Joyce you whore you said it happened again but when I texted you, you no reply -.-'

P.P.S Inception is my movie. My life. "Sorry I can't be with you if you don't appreciate the movie Inception."

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

WAZZUP :D

2011-07-27T21:36:00.006+08:00

I hate it when things like this happens

Boo-yah!
I've been busy, but it's the good kind of busy aite.
And yes, laziness kicked in for the past week :P
With whatnot Twitter and Tumblr,
I'm starting to pay less attention to this poor blog of mine.
Boofreakinghoo.

Not to mentioned almost everyday [I try to] write in my diary,
so sometimes I'm just too lazy to repeat things here and there ya know?

HE SWAGGERED :D
Tom Felton is hot.
His bad boy attitude helps LOL

So last Thursday, initially I planned to watch Monte Carlo,
the one that starred Selena Gomez [main reason I wish to watch]
BUT.
Plan failed, and I end up watching other two movies instead.
1st one was Hanna, a movie that I didn't know it exists till Chris brought it up.
Warning: Sitting next to Rendo can lead to popcorn fights. Not to mention he will sing along with ALL the advertisement before the movie starts.

Next movie was Harry Potter :O
I never intend to watch it until my dad bought the DVD or something.
But apparently Cedric dropped out the last minute when the rest of my classmates had already bought the tickets.
So Jia Bao 'begged' me to fill in haha.
Which I did.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Voldemort gives hugs awkwardly.
Well, based on the movie anyway.
I'm not a potter head, and I've seen all the spoilers through Tumblr and Twitter -.-'
but I still teared up a little at certain part LOL
Gah I can be so sensitive sometimes.

The things I learn through Tumblr/Twitter

Last Friday a few of us went to YMCA to play badminton.
It's been, years? Since I've touched a racket LOL.
Nevertheless, I had fun =D

Kai Yun wanted to study so it was just me, Jia Bao and Ellie.
Guys there are Jake, Chris, Rendo, Chong Wei, Siak, and Lanston.
Teaming up with Chris is probably one of the best/worst idea ever xD
I couldn't stop laughing when he ran around the court after losing lmao
Rendo had to leave early cause of driving lessons =(
Chong Wei and Siak are like the pros .___.
So is Lanston LOL I lose to him nicely on the one-on-one match.
Ellie, Jake and Jia Bao were better player than me too.

I'm like, the worst player ever x)

After that post,
a few guys commented to me about it.

WE WATCHED SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE DURING OUR ENGLISH CLASS :D
According to my brother it's 'legendary'
It came out on 1993 [the year I was born wth] and it's a romance-comedy film.
It's a rather heart-warming movie =)
I watched it a few times already :P

And each of us were given a sheet of questions regarding the movie
GAWD I LOVE HOMEWORK LIKE THIS :D

I'm probably gonna die earlier than everyone else
my sleeping schedule can be pretty messed up.

We had two tests this week.
Pengajian Malaysia aka History !@#$%
and Maths for chapter two.

Guess who last-minute study again?

Did I mentioned colours mesmerize me?

I had a bet with Chris,
IF I failed, he had to treat me McD.
But if I passed, vice versa.
I sincerely hope I would have to treat him McD.

Imagine to fail again D:

It's been a long time since I've eaten a pizza...
No, frozen pizzas are not counted.

So History test was today.
Nobody had the chance to cheat like the first time.
I answered the structure questions and the essay in English [CAUSE MY BM SUCKS]
which made everyone think I can pass but LOL no.
I feel like jumping off the building the minute I got out from the exam room =/

Thank goodness for those people who kept me sane.

I'm extremely lucky.
I have SueKi, Atiqah, and Joyce.

After test, a bunch of us were heading to the car park,
a few of us left our bags at Chong Wei's car.
Jake was gonna hand me the keys when Kai Yun suddenly had this brilliant idea.
She grabbed the keys and ran to his car, shouting that she's gonna drive his car.
I ran along with her, and both of us were laughing for some reasons xD

Am I the only one who agree with this chart?
Hahaha.

The guys' face expression were priceless when they saw Chong Wei's car backing out from the parking slot,
THEN I suggested she drive to where my car was so that we didn't have to walk to my car :P
And so she did.
HAHA.

The guys had to walk a few extra meters just because of that x)
I'm so proud of us both xD
It was hilarious :D

Agreed.
Another Cinderella Story.

Before I drove off, the guys pretended to sabotage my car LOL
Kai Yun and I were just laughing and laughing and laughing.
Because of that, it cheered me up =)
Thank you guys.

I find this realistic xD

CAMERON QUISENG MADE A TUMBLR
SCLBHQANL;WNVSVM;LEIN
I'm following him haha!!
Let's just hope he follows my blog too x)

I miss my sister.
She missed out the 6 subways cookies I specially bought for my brother today.
HAHA.

P.S So next, is maths. That I'm not so worry about x)

P.P.S I'm starting to think that things are meant to happen after all =)

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

So...

2011-07-19T20:51:00.007+08:00

The awkward moment when a new friend of mine asked,

"What's your blog?"

And I was like,
*stares* "Waddaya wanna know for?"

I'm probably the worst blogger ever,
I want my blog to be public YET I feel awkward answering questions like this.
Maybe I'm just scared they might see the other side of me that I don't want them to know :O
Maybe not.
I don't know LOL.

I laughed for 5 minutes straight
This is so me XD

Two more test coming up next week!
And one of it is Pengajian Malaysia, while the other is just math on chapter two.
I asked for english notes from my lecturer x)
She's so nais :D

I'll be studying like mad [I hope]
once I got those notes.

This is kinda true
Unless I had plans to go out or something..

Oh. This Saturday will be the 100th day of my Grandmother's death.
Will be heading back to Baling to pay some respect.
I gotta admit,
I miss her.

I know I don't talk about her, or to her much.
But she's always been around since I was born.
Her way of showing us that she love us was the times she hugs back as hard as she could when we hug her.
Or the times she randomly decided to give us some pocket money.
Or the way she gripped my hands tightly and asked me to be good and to study hard.

Great. Now I'm feeling a little guilty and teary =/

Super romantic =D
I can swim, so I wouldn't be afraid if I fall.

I sincerely hope certain people won't be there.
Knowing them, they'd only create havoc and everyone else would get upset or mad.
I honestly, hope for that.

And I hope neither of them see this too.
Else I'm screwed.

It breaks my heart to see those who chooses to end their life.
And there's nothing I could do to convinced them to stay.

As strange as it sounds,
after joining Tumblr, I see things a little differently.
I had come across so many teenagers struggling with their problems daily.

One gets panic attacks easily, she have a letter from her doctor to excuse her from exams if she starts panicking, not to mention she gets depressed easily.
Another one is gay, and he's not afraid to say so. I'm so proud of that dude, I cheered for him when US finally legalized Gay marriages.
Also another girl who cuts herself cause everything is collapsing around her, everyone makes fun of her daily, her family is not there for her. We all begged her not to end her life. So far so good.

Wao, reading all these back, I realized that it all sounds made-up stories,
but it's not.
The things you see in movies or books?
It happens. More often than you could possibly imagine.

What did you see?
Mine was: Lovely, funny, and fool x)

I've met people who can't handle the fact I accept gays.
Those who are against gay people, and proud of it.
Be ashamed of yourself.

Oh. I've also met people who thinks anyone who goes to counseling are mad or crazy.
The truth is, everyone should go for counseling.
Going for counseling sessions doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.
It's just.. good for you =)
to figure out who you are, and what you really want to do with your life.

DON'T FALL FOR WORDS,
FALL FOR ACTIONS.

I've once fall for words.
No wonder the third word I saw was "Fool"
Indeed I was.

I once said I don't take academics seriously,
the person asked me back,
"So what's important then?"
And I said,
"It's whatever you're interested in."

Omg guys I'm serious,
if I'm given a choice, I'd heck academics.
I'd go for something I feel passionate about instead.
And yes it's a little personal x)

You guys might just laugh at me for not being realistic.

I love places like this!
It's.... homey =)

Enough of the deep talk x)

Today while March intake were presenting their slide show group by group,
the rest of us just sat there and do our own 'thang' xD

Chris was playing some games on Chong Wei's ipod touch.
Brandon listening and watching some random videos from Allstar Weekend from my ipod touch.
I was mentally jamming away with songs from Brandon's phone xD
Terry watching something on his laptop.
Zhe Hwan watching some shows on his laptop.
Ellie, Jia Bao and Kai Yun were doing maths? Haha!

I had so much fun beating Chris in Tap tap Revenge :P
For some reasons, I couldn't stop laughing.
Not that I'm complaining,
but I probably scare some of my classmates off xD

Nuff said.

Met up with the girls last Friday, without Joyce.
It's pretty hard to meet up just the four of us.
I miss seeing them everyday still,
well, except my sister of course LOL.

I'm going to the "Great Expectation" next Thursday [28/7/11]
It's only RM10 per ticket, and it goes to charity!!
At Dewan Sri Penang of course ;D
Who's going?!
Lemme know, I can ask Joyce for ya =)
She's also a part of the musical drama [soproudofher]

And before I finish up this post...

BAMM!!! [CameronQuisengGASP]
The most amazing guy on earth [in SueYi's eyes]
One of my goals is to meet him someday =)

And omg I can't believe Mikey create a blogspot too xD
It's too bad he doesn't update it often.
Sucha awesome guy x)

P.S Half-way through Swimsuit by James Patterson. Amazing writer.

P.P.S I'm spending WAY too much money lately, it's time to get a job... but where?

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

It's been a while..

2011-07-13T21:25:00.005+08:00

The picture says it all.

Fact: We only dream of what we know. Our dreams are frequently full of strangers who play out certain parts – did you know that your mind is not inventing those faces – they are real faces of real people that you have seen during your life but may not know or remember? The evil killer in your latest dream may be the guy who pumped petrol into your dad’s car when you were just a little kid. We have all seen hundreds of thousands of faces throughout our lives, so we have an endless supply of characters for our brain to utilize during our dreams.

I find this fascinating =)
Did you know, if you were to be aware that you're dreaming,
you can actually CONTROL your dream?!
Like, be the author in your dreams =D
I've tried it once, I remember I was running.
At that moment I realized I was dreaming, so I willed myself to run like a wind without tiring myself.
It actually work!
After that I woke up.
My mum is such a killjoy LOL

It's hard to realized that you're dreaming,
at least for me.
The next time I'm aware I'm dreaming,
Im'ma make CameronQuiseng appear out of nowhere and I'd have a date with him where no one else can stalk us ;D

I would really like to continue how I want zee awesome date dream goes,
but that would just make you guys dislike him more or something.

This guy at tumblr sent me a message telling me I looked beautiful
despite my display pic [I was wearing a mask]
it made me feel... happy.

I had been busy with stuff.
Just had a mini test today, and everyone cheats so yeah.
Cheat is a strong word, how about discussing? LOL.

College life has been amazing so far.
Seriously I couldn't ask for a better classmates to start all over with my studies and such.
The girls had been supportive when I told them what was my weak subjects.
It is really wonderful of them to do so!
And the guys are just plain hilarious and friendly =)

Every now and then we'd go out during break time just to have some fun.
Yesterday we even went to KDU just to try out their canteen food :P
It's better than Disted haha!
So sorry to say that but it's freaking true.

Haha omg that sounds like me xD
I hate it when people 'type lk dis.'
It doesn't look pretty ya know?

I'm not proud of myself lately.
My attitude towards studies is not getting any better,
for instance, I last-minute study during break today.
Just because I wasn't in the mood to read through the notes last night.
*slaps self*

Moving on,
I was a little depressed lately.
But that's another story.

It makes me so mad to see these sort of things happening everywhere
Like, What am I doing here?
Doing nothing while someone is having suicidal thoughts out there somewhere.

Remember about Costa Rica?
The country where I'm supposed to go to cause of the exchange student program thingy? [AFS]
Apparently, I was blacklisted cause I pulled out from the program last-minute.
And because I was blacklisted,
the people at AFS decided that it won't be a good idea to let my sister to proceed the interviews.

I'm still super upset about this.
It's not fair.
First of all, what I was applying for requires money.
I need to pay up 24k plus in order to go, not to mention I need pocket money when I'm there.
So when my parents realized it's not a good idea, they gently explained the situation to me.
I'm not dumb, I know money isn't easy to make.
I had no choice but to let that dream go.
I was super devastated, wait, maybe I still am.

I'll never stop wondering WHAT IF I was able to go ahead with the initial plan and came back after a year.
That dream means to much to me.
Every time I thought about it, I had to distract myself before getting too emotional.
I WANT IT.
But I can't have it.

And now,
why is my sister's dream is been taken away from her too?

I figured that not everyone is normal
=)

What my sister was applying for was a scholarship.
It's free. Totally free.
If she gets it, there's no way she's gonna pull out like I did.

For those of you who doesn't know my sister,
she's smart, and really intelligent.
She's that sort of person who can get scholarship easier than the rest of us.
Academically smart, street-smart, she has it all.
She's great at debating, acting, forums, speeches, dancing, and exams.

Yes I'm bragging about my sister,
cause she means a lot to me.

For now it's hard to see the positive outcome from all these,
but I guess she'll know someday soon.

P.S I like staying up late at night, where no one is there to invade my privacy.

P.P.S Is it weird that I sing better when there's no one around?

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

It's just one of those days ;)

2011-07-02T21:37:00.004+08:00

Interesting isn't it?
Why can't we laugh about the same thing over and over as well?

The week pass by so quickly =)
I had many wonderful moments this week!
This was the week when the accident happened,
the next day we girls still head out and went to the arcade ;P
[personal favorite is Daytona even though I suck at it!]

And then on Thursday only Eileen and I head out cause Cedric and the guys need a ride.
We went to One Stop and then Gurney for lunch,
oh yeah that was the day we had our math test, I did horribly so yeah.

Friday was going out with Waynie after class =)
Loving Friday cause after 12 I'm absolutely free haha!

I laughed like nuts when I first read this XD

Going out with Waynie was probably the highlight of the week =)
So good to see him again after months!
We decided not to watch any movies [cause it'd be a waste of time],
we had Lunch at Manila Place and I bought myself an ipod touch =D
LIKE FINALLY!!
You have no idea how long I've been saving up to buy one,
I told my dad after I bought it though, and he seems okay with it.

ANYWAYS.
Joyce joined us for a little while walking here and there while her boyfriend was buying tickets for Monte Carlo [damn you Joyce]
We were about to head down with the elevator when Joyce said she needed to go,

Joyce: "Eh guys. I gotta go already, later movie start."
Wayne and Suzzy:" Oh okay. Bye Joyce!"
Joyce: "Oh wait, Sue Yi! Before I go- [lean down and press a button beside the elevator]"
Elevator. Immediately. Stopped. Moving.
Joyce: "OKAY BYEEE!! [runs off]"
Wayne and Suzzy looked at Joyce, then at the elevator with the 'wtf-ish' face expression.

I HAD NO IDEA WHERE DID SHE LEARNED TO DO THAT .___.
What I know is, EVERYONE behind us had to WALK DOWN step by step.
I couldn't stop laughing though, Waynie was like laughing non-stop too haha!

We even saw AN OLD MAN struggling to walk down the elevator.
WHICH I FORGOT TO TELL JOYCE WHEN I MET HER TODAY,
so Joyce, I hope you read this.
Karma Joyce, KARMA! XD

Oh and then later on, Wayne and I headed to Straits Quay =)
which was boring cause we were full and couldn't even enjoy Starbucks.

When this picture came up at tumblr,
many girls was like WHO ARE YOU?!
I'm not one of them but I like what he replied =)

TODAY WAS PRETTY AWESOME TOO :D
Two reasons, high school mates and college mates ;D

Sports Day at Hamid Khan!
Made plans to go there with Joyce, and meet up with the rest there.
It felt so good walking into your old school and all your juniors still recognizes you :')
Except my sister and my brother -.-'
they gave me a weird look on purpose when they saw me LOL

I love how things will never change between us,
it's always the same old people I'm close to and familiar with.

David and Ming Kit only hang around for a while =(
Joyce being Joyce, shouting teacher's name SO LOUD and strutting around like a model.
Hean Tee being a camwhore and demanded group pictures.
Aun Wei being himself, ridiculously funny and pitiful XD
Onn Sun being the chillax one, who doesn't do anything when his girlfriend chased Aun Wei around trying to hit him Hahaha!!
Shier Fern being her, so quiet as usual =)
Me being me, I don't know what to say about myself x)

I kept hugging people =D
"ASH!!!" *runs over and hugged*
"JANICE!!!!" *hugged*
"JEREMY!!" *hughughug*
"Dudee RYAN!" *pound fist and then hug*
Just a few examples LOL

Oh and the best part is BLUE HOUSE WON :D
Yes I was from blue house, since primary ;)
It's a good thing it's my favorite color.

We SAM students had extra Pengajian Malaysia class today from 2-5pm.
Guess what, only 8 of us showed up.
Not including March intake.
I don't get March intake students,
right before class ends, a bunch of them showed up ._.
Like, what's the point? LOL.

So the eight of us,
Laston [Chin Leong]
Beng Leong
Cedric
Brandon
Chung Wei
Sze Huan
Kai Yun
Me

For some reason, Brandon was super hyper today.
He couldn't stop talking nonsense LOL
I got a little hyper too after watching some commercials that Lanston downloaded.
Couldn't stop laughing was probably one of the best feelings in the world :P

We all couldn't stop talking to each other when teacher was teaching LOL
well, except for Beng Leong he was really concentrating,
Lanston too haha!

And crap, we were given assignment to do.
Wish me luck.
You know how weak my BM is.

P.S Now I got Joyce to like Allstar Weekend songs ;) SHE THINKS ZACH IS BLOODY ATTRACTIVE!

P.P.S I'm starting to like my college mates... A LOT.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

Tis the season to be jolly. [Falalalala,lalalala]

2011-06-28T17:38:00.004+08:00

I'll never get tired of posting up such pictures
If you're sick of it, then that's too bad.

Anyone heard of Straits Quay?
We tried going there during our break today.
Oh yes we did reached there, but we never got to enjoy ourselves over there.
LOL

It's actually not a funny matter so I had no idea why I just typed a 'LOL',
We had an accident.
A car accident.

This is so true =)
It's okay to be sad, or mad.

We girls wanted to explore Straits Quay [yes we were already, what's that word? Bored. Of Gurney]
But we have no idea how to get there,
I mean, I was there once, but I wasn't concentrating when my dad drove us there.
So we had no choice but to follow a bunch of guys from my class.

Cedric drove, while Brandon was the navigator.
Guys being guys, they drove faster than girls.
So it was hard to keep up with the guys with Eileen's new car.
I laughed it off the whole time, never expecting anything bad could happen.

I do like, everyday.
[scan scan scan close]

Initially, the plan was to stop by Tesco to grab a bite before heading to Straits Quay.
[keep in mind that we girls have NO idea where we were, we were just following them blindly]
Out of sudden, we saw Credric's car turning to the right,
our car didn't brake in time and we hit them guys from the back.

I swear, that was one of the scariest moments I've ever experienced.
It happened too fast, and thank goodness for the seat-belts.
Come to think of it, it kinda feels like roller coaster,
except that the roller coaster never crash into something else :O

And it turns out Cedric was trying to avoid hitting this motor-biker who came out from the wrong lane.
Celaka biker.

I'm loving this picture so much =)

So, our first thoughts was,
is everyone okay?
Fortunately, yes, everyone was fine.
The impact wasn't even that Huge to get anyone hurt.
But oh boy =/
the cars.

Both dented, and Eileen's car starts to leak.
Now I'm not an expert when it comes to cars,
but I do know when the car cooler starts to leak, the car can get over-heated easily,
and that's not a good thing at all.

Everything will be okay in the end,
if it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Long story short, some of us went back to college and some of us waited for Eileen's godmother and godfather.
Her godparents are pretty cool :D
Her godfather fetched us back, just in time for our next class.
But by that time, I was in no mood to pay attention in class.

It was all too overwhelming for me, Thank God everyone was fine!
My reaction was pretty slow, throughout all the waiting I was still pretty much myself,
I didn't felt anything.
But when I reached college, it all started to sink in.

That accident could have been worse, one of us could have gotten really hurt.
I think life just slap me in the face or something.

Laugh all you want,
you weren't there.

P.S We pretty much skipped our Pengajian Malaysia class too. I don't like it when we mix with March intake. Not so fun.

P.P.S I'm so happy that Joyce was worried about me :D Love you girl!

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

I'm just saying.

2011-06-27T21:18:00.003+08:00

Gawd look at the colors
So hypnotizing .__.

I just finished my summary for English.
Heh. Last minute much.
Don't really enjoy summary writing,
give me stories anytime and I'd be so happy =)

Which reminds me.. I need to finish up my story.

I've got this sad saad face expression on my face after reading this.

Anyways!
Went to Gurney again, and had McD with the girls.
Eileen driving skills is rather... frightening at times.
But nevertheless, still a good driver :P

I hope to get to drive her car tomorrow :D

Listening to Fireworks by Katy Perry,
and it's distracting me from blogging ._.
Note to self: No music when it's blogging.

Another adorable picture from Tumblr
:P

My mum just got back from her facial appointment.
As she walked downstairs, I took one look at her and sang,
"Mummy the red nose reindeer, has a very shiny noseee."
Lmao the look she gave me was priceless XD
Ahh I love her so much =D

Oh oh.
During IT class, I was scrolling down at my Tumblr as usual when I came across this awesome picture :D
I turned to Kai Yun and Eileen, and told them,
"Wanna see the love of my life? Ta-da!!"

Cameron Michael Quiseng

He's seriously one of the sweetest guy I've ever known.
The way he talk to his fans is so beautiful,
such a gentleman.
He rather calls a girl 'beautiful' than 'hot'.
He gets frustrated when he sees a girl thinking she's not beautiful.
He and his band-mates have what we call "Bromance"
I love them, I love him :D

Sue me for being in awe of this guy.
I can't help it =)

Found this on Tumblr as well,
his girlfriend is one lucky girl.

I'm rather worried about Pengajian Malaysia.
I might actually fail that subject, knowing how weak my BM is.
Gahh.

Can't wait for Friday to meet up with Wayne :D
YES HE'S BACK!
For the time being =)

P.S I really, really want an ipod touch. The only thing that's stopping me from getting it is my parents.

P.P.S It's nice to know guys in my class watch Glee too :D :D :D

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

And I used to blog every single day.

2011-06-26T22:23:00.003+08:00

I love this dude.
He's the drummer from Allstar Weekend.
Yes he sings and make his own songs too.

Am I spending too much time on the computer?
Am I?
I need to cut down, but there are things that I refuse to let go and forget about it.
Tumblr. Twitter. Formspring. And this blog.
Oh okay, maybe Facebook as well, but not as much.

The picture says it all.

I'm tired of being restless.
It's time to pick up a pen, or a pencil, and start some serious writing other than updating my diaries.
I've been working harder on my studies this year,
but I guess my parents doesn't see it yet.

One day, just wait.

Hahaha this is the best love letter ever
Just saying ;)

Anyways.
I had a dream about Allstar Weekend last night,
the weirdest part of all is Cameron had brown eyes instead of green ones.
We were hanging out and on our way to a shopping mall when I noticed.
I remember high-fived with Michael and Nathan cause we have dark brown eyes.

Cameron look good with golden brown eyes.
Like, reeeeally good.
I kept sleeping back when I woke up just to continue the awesome dream x)
Does anybody else do that?

I'm a left handed person
that explains a lot.
[FYI Left handed person uses their right brain, and right handed person uses their left brain]

Left brain: I am the left brain. I am a scientist. A mathematician. I love the familiar. I categorize. I am accurate. Linear. Analytical. Strategic. I am practical. Always in control. A master of words and language. Realistic. I calculate equations and play with numbers. I am order. I am logic. I know exactly who I am.

Right brain: I am the right brain. I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion. Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feat. I am movement. Vivid colors. I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas. I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. I am everything I wanted to be.

Gawd I love colors so much.
They hypnotizes me!

Got class till six tomorrow. Yay.
IT class will be going on for bloody four hours.
It's not that bad as long we get to use the computers and do whatever we want.

Math test on Thursday, chapter 1.
I'm not ready for it, yet.

P.S I'm reading Pet Sematary by Stephen King. First book I try reading from this famous dude. My sister freaked out real bad after reading it though. Is it that good?!

P.P.S I miss my high school friends, so so so much!

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

I'm sick of waiting. I need to do something.

2011-06-23T21:12:00.003+08:00

That's how I want to see things.
That's how we should see things.
No?

I like colors.
Colors are my weakness, sort of.
I get distracted easily when there's colors.
So beautiful =)

I'm getting restless, bored of doing the same thing over and over and over again.
I wanna get out from my house, or sneak out during midnight like last time.
But all my friends stay so far away =(
Meh except Aun Wei haha!
Should definitely meet up with him soon!

Nuff said.

Kai Yun drove Eileen, Jia Bao and I to Gurney today.
We window shopping a lil, and had our lunch at food court.
We had heart-to-heart conversations and it was all good fun =)
For some reasons, we were all especially tired today.

Highlight of today: I spanked Joyce's butt :P
SHE WAS AT GURNEY WITH HER BOYFRIEND *wink wink*
The first thing she said was, BO JIO!!
I can say the same thing to you Joyce =)
Hahaha it was soooooooooooooo good to see her again!

We were a lil late for our English class too :P
We learned Notes-writing today.
It wasn't easy for me,
I just sat there doing nothing while the rest of my group people were racking their brains.
.__.

I'm not as creative as I thought.

Dare to be different.

I'm feeling rather frustrated with myself at the moment.
I miss the high school me.
I don't think I'm being 100% myself yet at college,
and that shucks.
It takes time I guess, to be myself.
Why is it so hard this time?

I had been shot down by so-called best friends.
And that's when I made new ones,
I'd never regret those times.

My brother is playing all those slow sad songs.
It makes my heart sinks =/
I think it's time for me to sing some karaoke songs :P
but before that, lemme blogging finish first.

Skyped with Saby earlier =)
I'm missing her already.
Eileen is spamming my wall post LOL
We were discussing about our IT presentation for next Monday.
ONLY ONE WEEK TO GET IT DONE!
I wonder how's the rest of the group is doing?

Everyone does.
Everyone look more attractive when they smile =)

Is anyone going to watch Beauty and the Beast by the PFS peeps?
Just wondering.

My phone died.
Just saying, to those who texted me and I didn't reply.
Ha.Ha.Ha.
It's time for me to get a new phone anyway.
And no I'm not going for the latest whatsoever =)
I just want one that can text/call/drop on the floor multiple times but it won't die phone.

P.S I feel so lost now. Bleh.

P.P.S I probably should start studying properly. My life depends on it. Sorta.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

:(

2011-06-22T20:46:00.002+08:00

Gahh noooooooooooo.
Sabrina and Christy both are gonna join next year Jan intake instead.
That's the bad news.
Hahahaha peace out ;)

TooLazyToBlog

I've got some magic in me.

2011-06-21T21:39:00.004+08:00

Leilockheart is one of my favourite tumblr blog
She quote things that are so true.

I'm really lucky.
You know, like,
I don't even had to worried for a second who I'm going to hangout with during college.
It's only been a week,
and here we are,
slapping each other with our notes or mocking each other.
We stopped being polite :P

Yes me too hahahaha.
It's nice to know some people are so friendly like me :D

I personally believe in magic =)
as much as I believe in miracles.

I car-pooled with Kai Yun for the first time :D
She kept claiming and apologizing for driving so scary or teruk.
In the end I was like,
"Meh. The way you drives reminds me of me."
LOL

It's my turn to fetch her tomorrow from her house :D
She calls her house 'ugly' for some reason, silly girl.
During break,
Kai Yun, Jia Bao, Eileen and I were discussing about our IT assignments.
But we end up watching videos and listening to songs LOL
Talk about ADD

I'm proud to be a part of it
LOL

Gah. FlyFm's Ben and Phabets is leaving :(
Of course I'm not happy, they are my favourite DJs!
Especially Ben, he's freaking talented and amazing.
:'(

Sabrina couldn't stop laughing over lil things.
I find it highly amusing that she find such things highly amusing [get it?]
She's staying for June Intake :DD
YESS!! HAHAHAHAHA!
I know she doesn't want to though, she thinks it's a waste of time and such.
I gotta love her mum for forcing her ;)
Oh, random fact.
Her mum has the same birthday date as I do!

Did I mentioned she's gorgeous? :P
Too bad, she's taken boys.
Ahahaha!

Oh, Sue Ki was sick this morning.
I woke up around 7.30am, and was like,
"Sue Ki. It's 7.30am already."
"Mmmmm- [turns over and slept back]"

That's when I figured she's sick.
My brain couldn't think well when I'm only half-awake.

P.S And then, some of em' girls wanna hangout at Gurney during our 2 hours break tomorrow. It'll be me and my old car.

P.P.S Crap. More math homework not done. I'm enjoying English lessons a LOT.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

I'm so dead :P

2011-06-20T21:28:00.002+08:00

Perfect example,
Allstar Weekend's Boiis ;)
Especially Cameron!

Yes I'm listening to their songs as I blog this,
"Cause nobody gives a damn about the day that you were born" ;)
Omfg their songs make me feel sooo hyper =)
I'll never get tired of them, they are the best role models, I swear.

Aaand I'm getting off topic, as usual.
How was your weekend? =)
Mine was pretty awesome, we celebrated Happy Fathers' Day.
I love my dad, very much =)

I hope this mentally slaps you in your face as you read the above picture,
cause it's very true.

So today was what, Math and then IT?
Math was the same, nothing special.
Oh, made two more friends today :D
One is Christy while the other is Sabrina.
Dammit Sabrina look so grown-up and gorgeous .___.

Christy didn't like A-levels so she's switching to SAM.
But both of them are still uncertain about joining June intake or next year Jan intake.
I really hope they join June intake =)

.______.

According to Sab and Christy both, they claimed that SAM students are far more friendly compare to A-levels.
Apparently Jia Bao and I don't look like we just met last week, neither do the rest of us.
I'm so proud of us :')
Hahahaha! I can't wait to get to know the rest better =)

Gawd I sound so creepy.
And during IT class today, some of them found out that I blog ._.
What would they think of me when they read all these....?

[awkward]

LOL
I love this one.

Our IT lecturer is pretty interesting, and amusing.
As he talked about social network such as Facebook,
[he kept using Facebook as an example]
he wouldn't stop emphasizing how dangerous Facebook is,
I gotta admit what he say it's true though.

Meh. I don't even like Facebook anymore,
Im'ma stick to twitter and tumblr instead.

During our two hours break, Yi Jun shared this joke with us.
I couldn't stop laughing, and laughing, and laughing [like an idiot]
Jia Bao was staring at me disapprovingly [and weirdly] when she stopped laughing ages ago.
Lmao XD

I know I had post this up on Facebook before,
but it's so hilarious :D

IT was partly boring yet fun.
Boring cause it's all computer stuff and I had no idea what the lecturer was saying sometimes,
Fun cause during short breaks I went on Tumblr and laughed alone while scrolling down.
Wow I must have look like an idiot LOL

Tomorrow is a new day!
Kai Yun will be fetching me tomorrow :P
CAR POOL ;D

P.S Thanks to Jia Bao, I finally choose to eat economy rice during break today :D

P.P.S It is getting better, thank you so much =)

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

It keeps getting better. I like being happy, who doesn't?

2011-06-17T21:28:00.003+08:00

I felt like slapping some people I personally know,
who thinks she's not beautiful.
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE LOVELY?!

Yesterday was interesting =)
We wrote a report during ESL class,
I made so much mistakes on mine .__.
Dammit I NEED TO IMPROVE.

Some of my classmates kept asking me for words,
some even asked me to check theirs before they pass it up to Dr.Aw :O
I feel.... flattered? :')
[slaps self]

YES THIS IS MY CURRENT DESKTOP BACKGROUND :D
Don't even go thinking for a second I'm over these guys.
They are my idols x)
Nathan, Zach, Mikey, and Cameron.

It's really a pity my new best friend, Jia Bao refuses to speak in English,
she does that just to spike me LOL
Haha we're at that stage where we are comfortable showing our true self.
We sneak away from the rest just to go to the library x)
I made her borrow an English story book,
Sherlock Holmes ;D

I myself borrow borrowed four books.
Heh.
I've never hang out at the library yet,
plan to do so next week.
I'm so dragging Jia Bao with me :P

Very interesting.
Whether it's true or not, I have no idea.

Oh and we had our first Math class yesterday as well.
I FEEL SO DUMB AMONG THEM ALL.
Our lecturer went around asking what we got for Math and Add Math [if you took Add Math]
Most of them are like,
"Oh. I got A+ for math and A for Add Math."
"Erm. Both A+."
"My math A-."

GAHHHHH
Mine was, "Math B, Add Math C."
[hides under the table]
Another guy said he got A for Math but D for Add Math.
But the rest .____.
I'm like the noob among the pros.

Which reminds me, I've got some homework to do later...

ISN'T THIS JUST SO :DD
PRETTY?!
I don't know, it just fascinates me.

Today [Friday], we've got only one class.
HA
HA
HA

You heard me right. ONLY ONE :D
From Ten till Twelve, Math.
We were split up into five groups and were asked to discuss about different topics before presenting it in front of everyone else.

Instead of sticking to our usual gang,
Jia Bao and I decided to group up with another two girls.
One who's by far the most gorgeous girl in our class, Eileen.
And another one who's my primary friend, Kai Yun =)

I love this picture XD
Had me laughing out loud when I first saw this.

We all did well =)
I'm getting warmed up to my classmates and to my college.
I'll have to especially thank these few girls who are now my friends :D
Jia Bao, Sze Huan, Yi Jun, Zi Xuan, Wei Yun, Kai Yun, Eileen, Devarubi, Batma.
Wow there's 10 girls in my class including me.
So there's around 10 guys too I guess.

I don't even know the guys yet LOLOLOL.
I've only made small talks with Selan and this guy [I forgot his name XD]
and some other guys but I have no idea how to spell their name :(
I'm ashamed of myself people.

OH. I had an awesome time going back to SMKHK today :D
It was nice seeing teacher especially Mr.Naresh.
Met up with Lawrence for a while too,
Happy birthday to you LAWRENCE :D

I fetched Aun Wei to school, and then we headed to Queens just for lunch :P
He said I drove like a man :O

P.S Okay. Done with blogspot. BACK TO TUMBLR :D

P.P.S Crap. Got Maths homework need to be done. Not to mention our Pengajian Malaysia assignment.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

1st and 2nd day of College. Yay.

2011-06-15T20:08:00.004+08:00

I don't lose hope.
That's cause I can be blindly optimistic sometimes.

First day of college was okay.
We all were more or less forced to stick with someone so that we won't be an outcast.
It's always like that.
I made a bunch of girl friends already =)
Although they prefer to speak mandarin over English,
I find them rather amusing at times.

English class, I made an impression.
Apparently I had done well for my group presentation,
the lecturer told the rest of my classmates that I am the example of "Public Speaking"
I almost laughed out loud when he said that.
Me? Public Speaking?

Oh they have no idea who am I.
I suck at those LOL.

I believe this applies for everyone.
You know who you are.

Still first day,
We had Pengajian Malaysia instead of Moral.
I felt so depressed going to that class.
It is like living in hell all over again.
Whoopeedaisy! [sarcasm]

I sat with this girl that I especially like,
Jia Bao.
She's from Ipoh, and really, really pretty.
She's quite interesting to talk to.

Oh and the guys?
I only talked to this indian dude named Selan.
I was asking how to pronounced his name =)

I HAD NO IDEA
THANK YOU TUMBLR :D

Second day of college!
I was hoping for a better day.
I mean, I don't hate it, but I don't enjoy it yet either.
I feel so lost there without my old friends.
I kept seeing people that looks like my friends.
IT WAS CREEPY.

So today was way better =)
It's pretty obvious who's in whose groups.
Which I don't really like because I rather mix around.
Gah.
One step at a time.

I try not to promote Tumblr a lot.
It is one special place where I meet awesome people from everywhere :D

So now I'm basically only mixing with girls.
Not guys.
No offense but guys in my class are... disappointing.
=(

How can you get married when he/she is NOT your best friend?
That is one thing I'll never understand.

I have really bad hair.
Just saying [shrugs]

Today during English class,
we were asked to write a story based on four pictures.
STORIES :D
I was REALLY happy hahahahahahahahaha.
Have always like writing stories ;)

Us girls are getting closer too.
We shared our past relationships,
they didn't noticed that I didn't talk about mine XD

Oh tomorrow is gonna be Math and Eng.
Can't be that bad right?
RIGHT?

P.S I'm super addicted to Tumblr now.

P.P.S College makes me miss my homies even more. It's nice seeing Azeem, Fern and Jerald around though =)

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

I've been feeling empty lately. Compare to those dramas I had in high school.

2011-06-13T22:14:00.007+08:00

If only the guy I like would text me that.
Not that I'm liking anyone now.

I woke myself up at 7.30am in the morning.
It was a very self-sacrificing thing to do since I had make a habit out of getting out of the bed around 10am not 7.30am for the past month.

I didn't want to look like crap on the first day with all the "first impression" expectation.
So I slap self while looking into the mirror when I see my face is still sleeping.
Does anyone else does that?

I can get rather personal when it comes to Tumblr or Twitter.
For some reasons it's easier to tell strangers about your stories.

Orientation starts at 9am.
I left my house around 8.15am.
It. Wasn't. Early. ENOUGH.
Stupid traffic jam .__.
I was a little late.
Thank goodness Shier Fern was there already, so she directed me where's the hall.
[she looks so pretty now with brown hair!]

Entering a hall with almost a hundred of others staring at you,
is scary.
That doesn't usually happens to me cause I always try to keep a low profile.
I sat at a front row seat by the way.

I have no idea about this.
Did you guys know about this? .__.

It's an advantage able to hear every.single.word the speaker says.
But it's also freaky when they turn to you and look at you straight in the eye.
I'm like a deer froze in headlights when they do that.
Nevertheless, the talks were okay.
We even sang a happy birthday song to this dude name Jason cause it happens to be his birthday.

Which reminds me,
Happy Birthday Hor Yean =)
And also to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen!
Love ya all :D

Recently. Dianna wrote a very,
moving piece of article.
She post it up on her tumblr.
Click here to read it. It's very long btw.

I spotted this guy who looks like David Teh :P
Except he's better looking haha!
But too bad, he's at A levels not SAM.
It would be interesting if I were to take a picture of him and then post in on FB, caption something like "OH LOOK IT'S DAVID"
I know I know... =)

There's fifty plus students that are going for A levels, and only around 20 for SAM.
I was pretty much gobsmacked.
It was sad to see Shier Fern and Jerald both doing A levels while I'm alone ._.

Ah it's time to make new friends anyways ;)

So when our society is F-ed up,
you know what to do people.

So the SAM students were being led away by this teacher,
I asked a girl with shoulder-length straight brown hair [gawd another pretty girl] where are we going.
She said oh to another hall. Then she asked,
"Are you from Shih Chung?"

Magic. Words!
Yes, I'm from SMJKC Shih Chung Cawagan.
Surprised?
I instantly recognized her :D
Then we started talking, but not much.
Cause I end up talking to this another girl more who sat on the other side of me.

I know right. [I need to stop saying that]
This explains why I adore stories.

This other girl, came from SP.
So she's staying at the Disted's hostel.
I was like "wow nice" LOL
She got long straight brown hair too.
Gahhhh! EVERYONE LOOK SO PRETTY THERE!

Anyways.
Her name is Yi Jun.
I've got a feeling I'll be bringing her up more in future posts.
Just saying.

Classes officially starts tomorrow.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
I can't wait for it... Not.
I'm still not into this whole college thing.
I hope tomorrow gets better, and my classmates would be awesomely insane or something.

Wait, I shouldn't say that.
They might end up blowing up the lab in the future.
I hope my classmates won't make me feel awkward when I talk to them.
=)

P.S Wish me luck! And oh, how's school everyone? =)

P.P.S WHAT DO I WEAR TOMORROW?! ._____.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

*Just us girls.

2011-06-11T23:14:00.004+08:00

There's no need to deny,
I quickly took off my glasses when I saw Ki about to snap a picture of me.

FINALLY.
It's all I can say about our meet-up.
I'm kidding.
But seriously, it's been what?
Half a year?!

On 10/06/11 [Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday]
We finally had the opportunity to hang out,
just like old times =D

These girls are my Homies
I pick up that word after stalking Michael and Zach a lot :P
Click here to see the definition of "Homies"

Joyce, Ki, and Ash [Atiqah]
I would give almost anything in this world to travel around the world with them someday.
That's one of my dreams. Theirs too =)

Joyce and her endless "epic" face's expressions.
I laughed till I almost died from laughter.

For those of you who weren't aware,
these girls are my life.
We did nothing epic on that day,
yet it was one of the best day ever =)

Ash came over my house,
and I started showing her tons of videos of
Allstar Weekend and The Midnight Beast :D
Sue me aite. I'm so proud to be a HUGE fan of them!
We spent an hour plus watching and laughing our heads off.

Joyce was super late -.-'
I had to call Mizi Bistro TWICE to postpone our dinner.
But oh, THANK YOU SO MUCH DUDE FOR THE GLEE AND HIMYM EPISODES =D

That's Joyce's dinner.
Cannelloni.
idk how to spell it x)

I droved Ash and Ki to Joyce's house.
And Joyce droved us to Mizi.
It was a scary ride .__.
Dibs on the shotgun was probably not a good idea when it's Joyce driving.
I had to hold onto her laptop and bag, clinging for my dear life.
LMAO.

We made endless jokes and throwing insults at each other like nothing has changed.
Ahhh I love you guys so much =D
Reached New World Park around 7.30pm.
Joyce, as usual.
Was up to something.

Joyce staring disapprovingly at Sue Ki's salad.
Seriously? SALAD for dinner?

Joyce parked her car and turn off the engine.
Joyce: "Okay gurrls LETS GO!"
Sue Ki: "Great!!" [gets out from the car and closes the door]
Joyce: "Dudeee. Don't go out yet. Let's see what's her reaction."
Joyce starts engine, and starts to drive out from the parking slot slowly.
Sue Ki gives the look while the others wave happily at her.
Joyce droves off. And tried parking onto three parking slot.
Sue Yi: "Dude. What are you trying to do?!"
Ash: "I think she's just kidding..."
Joyce: "BAHAHAHA What does it look like I'm trying to do?"

She had us there for a minute .__.
I honestly thought she was going to park and takes up others' parking space as well.

Joyce: "Aiya pity Sue Ki la." [parks properly]
We walk towards Sue Ki,
the first thing she said was,
"I need to go to toilet."
Joyce: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

One of the loudest laugh I've ever heard in my life.
Gawd Joyce.
xD

Ash is one of the sweetest innocent girl I've ever met =D

When we walked into New World Park,
the first thing I said to Ash was,
"Ash, please please don't start your weird laugh. It's super contagious and I wanna enjoy my dinner aite."
Ash: "What laugh? The Rumpelstiltskin laugh? [laughing it on cue]"
Sue Yi: "Nonono the other one. Never mind we'll see."

.
..
...
And thanks to Joyce.
Ash did laugh her weird laugh. [which happens when she's laughing too hard]
Which made me laugh, which made Sue Ki laugh.

You know the moment you try to stop laughing,
you can still feel there's bubbles of laughter waiting to pour out from your mouth?
Imagine that happens when you're eating.
XD

The only decent picture of us that day =D
Cause Joyce's aunt took for us.

Joyce with her endless dirty jokes.
Sue Ki and her bimbo moments.
Ash with her supercontagious laughs.
Me and my, wait, what did I do that night? LMAO

Joyce: "Dude! BLOG THIS UP!!"

Yes Joyce, I did x)

I had no idea she was going that.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT FOR!
YOURS IS... big ENOUGH .___.

The awkward moment when we realized we laughed the loudest at a restaurant.
That's forever us girls.
FOREVER :D

Sue Ki had NO ice-cream.
Which is sad, it was delicious.

Waiter: "So, you don't the free-flow ice-cream?"
Sue Ki: "Nahh it's okay I'm on a diet."
Joyce: "Pfft diet my a$$."
Ash and Sue Yi: [start laughing our heads off]

Ki wants me to snap a photo when her legs were straight up high
but she accidentally kick Joyce's shoulder :D
EPIC FAIL

Gah there's so many conversations in my head right now
But I'm not gonna blog all down, cause it's all going into my diary ;D

So we went back to Joyce's place.
Took quite a lot of pictures just to make an album for that day =)
It was all good fun.
There's this epicly awesome picture but I'll save that for the last :D

That's mine.
I used nail polish to decorate it :P

I swear,
I hadn't laugh like that day since months.
It's like nothing else matters except our friendships :D

We just talked, and laughed and gawd knows what else XD
I didn't know there's a CCTV in front of Joyce's house when I did a erm... a little happy dance.
Bah.
No one else saw.
Let's hope it stays that way :P

Just chilling at the swing
Doing our own 'thang'

This is something worth sharing :D

Joyce was sitting on the swing when she suddenly 'pounced' on Sue Ki and starting pulling her down.
Ki was like, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKK!"

AH DAMMIT Should have gotten a video out of this =(
It was like a scene out from a horror movie staring a hot zombie and a bimbo.
Then Ash started her weird laugh again...
..
...
It's a wonder the neighbors didn't complain.

Look at Joyce.
Wth is she doing??

I've been friends with Joyce only since 16,
not too long ago right? =)
But I know I'm one of her closest friends,
yet I can't tell what on earth is she doing sometimes.

She's a mystery.
And she likes to keep it that way.
So it irritates her A LOT when I read her mind.
HA.HA.HA.
[that's watchu get for hanging out with a wannabe psychologist]

Oh dude.
I love you [HUGS]

There are countless times when I like to irritate her
Like this.
Look at her face, pure torture.

Ash, I've known her for years.
But never really gotten close to her until she's 15 and I'm 16.
She's gorgeous, beautiful and sweet.
But she always put herself down no matter how many times we told her she's beautiful.
She's convinced that no guys would ever like her that way and such.

So Ash, lemme tell you something.
Two years ago, Joyce was such a fickle.
She laughed at the idea of being love, she laughed at me and my hopeless romantic wishes.
But I told her,
"I'll be waiting for that day you fall in love. Then it's my turn to laugh at YOU."

And guess what?
She's in a serious relationship now =)
Of course I didn't laugh at her, I'm just happy for her :D

So Ash, one day.
Your guy will find you, and you'll get your fairy-tale.
I don't see how you can believe fairy-tales for others but not yourself!
Love you aite =D

Ki doesn't know how to take pictures properly.
Boooo you whore - Mean Girls

Ki is the best sister anyone could ask for.
We're so different on so many levels.
Looks, personalities, IQ, and EQ.
But she's there for me no matter what =D

That night she wasn't interested of talking about her problems,
but we did get Joyce to spilled details about the 'proposal' in the end!!
IT WAS SO SWEET! :D

And Joyce, it's only meaningful cause you like him too =)
YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT ABOUT THAT :D

Okay, so the most epicly awesome picture of all...
Is...

This

*points at the girl in blue shirt*
That was me alright.

We were about to take another 'crazy' picture when I realized I still had my glasses on.

Ash: "Okay guys, one..two..thr-"
Sue Yi: "WAIT MY GLASS- [taking them off AFastAP]"
Camera: *snap*

We all crowded around to look at the result,
and that picture,
had us in stitches for a very long, long, looong time.

BEST CANDID PICTURE EVER :DD
I'm not putting it up as my profile picture though :P

There you go,
one of the best night ever.
The four of us are something I've always read in books.
The group of friends that bring out the best of each other.
I'm proud of my girls, and I love them very much =)

WHEN CAN WE MEET UP AGAIN?! :D

P.S Let's take videos next time. And post em' up on Youtube lmao.

P.S. I can't wait for the future where we all are gonna travel around the world ever once a year.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

You are beautiful, are you aware of that?

2011-06-08T21:07:00.002+08:00

I won't give up on anyone =)
No, not even on you.

Confusing emotions held me back from blogging lately.
I'm still dealing with the fact I'm going to college soon.
I'll have troubles picking clothes to wear, and maybe even about my hair.
Oh that rhymes, I'm gonna tweet that :D

Yes, I tweet now. Heh.
It's addictive. Uh-oh.
Click here to see my twitter profile.

So, where do I look for the key?

Also,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!! =D
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!
You're the best of all dads.
You're always there for us kids, giving firm and amazing advices.
You're like a TV, always telling us stories endlessly.

You always say I'm like you, lazy when it comes to studying.
But dad, I've seen you working really hard, and that beats studying.
I love you daddy. Hugs.

We had lunch at Seoul Garden, bought Big Apple donuts, and also cappuccino cheese cake.
I feel so fat now.
But ah, what the hell :P

This picture brought tears to my eyes.
I wanna do something to ease the pain.

Dear Guy, I was so heart broken about you. Spending my time thinking "what if" and "if only". It was a miracle my feelings for you stopped. You fooled me, had me thinking what an amazing guy you were. I spent moments, begging to myself to stop caring, stop thinking, stop wishing. And now, as I listened to love songs, I can't relate to them anymore. Which means I'm now truly over you.

That's my latest FB status ;)
Long story short.
I'm over you, and boy am I GLAD.

I feel so disgusted with myself, my old self.
What the hell was I thinking?
WHAT exactly did I see in you?
People say Love makes you blind.
But what made me fell in loved with you?!

The moment I listened to love songs,
whether it's a happy one, or a sad one,
I don't feel connected to them,
that's when I knew, I've stopped falling for you.

P.S Love me or love me not, I'm staring at the clock. I pull em' flowers' petals off, and then I watch them drop.

P.P.S Orientation day is on 13th June. Haven't give much thought about it, cause when I did, I panicked.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

Dear LemonTee =)

2011-06-03T10:23:00.007+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!
You know how much I love you =)

Sorry for blogging this up late.
Hean Tee's birthday is actually yesterday, 2nd June.
I was too busy yesterday getting ready for his beach party =)
Which is, by the way, a BLAST!

I'm gonna blind people with your pictures today ;)

First of all, for those of you who have NO idea who the hell is the guy,
His name is Lim Hean Tee =)
I had a nickname for him, LemonTee, hence the title.

He's officially 18 years old now, loves the color orange to death [which I don't approve lol]
Was wayy shorter than me when we were 13, he finally catches up in height when we were 15 HAHA
So yeah, now he's taller than me, but only a bit =D
His famous quote?
"People laugh because I'm different I laugh because they are all the same."
I find it inspiring =D

The latest picture of the two of us.
Mind, we have both grown up, haven't we?

I've known him since I was 13, Form One.
I've just read back my diaries, and the first time I mentioned him in it,
I didn't even bother to write his name.
I wrote,
"Dear Diary, I think I have make two new friend. One is Ashleigh and another is um... How to spell his name? Never mind that. He thought out Geog teacher is my mother!! Fancy that!! And Ashleigh said that the teacher and I are sisters!!"

I shall not continue cause of my horrible grammars and the way I wrote back then is just.... so innocent. LOL.
I had no problem spelling Ashleigh's name but I had trouble spelling Hean Tee's name? :D
Sorry Hean Tee x)

And then for the next few entires of my diary, whenever I happened to mention Hean Tee,
I'd write "Heng Tee" instead.
Heh. Please don't kill me =|
But you gotta admit, it's hilarious XD

One of the many sleepovers we had at my house
I live for those moments.

Oh. Here's the dirt.
Some of you know, some of you don't.
He used to have a crush on me [for some weird reason] when we were 13.
Around February he drop hints.
Gawd Hean Tee, were you BLIND?!
I wore specs, no fringe, just mainly fugly :O

Nevertheless, I can always use this to blackmail you in the future.
MUAHAHAHA.
Kidding =D

This was taken when we were 15
Good times =)

So here we are, sixth year of our friendship.
Of course, nothing's perfect.
We had our moments only two years ago.
It was a misunderstanding, and it wasn't pretty at all.
We stopped talking to each other completely and loathed each other.
It was one of the worst fight I've ever experienced.

Surprisingly, we somehow move pass through that phrase.
And now we're closer than ever.
Both of us are amazed how things change after some time.
We're the living proof of "Forgive and Forget".
I love you buddy =)

Hean Tee at his horny mood
Joyce, that goes without saying right.

He's the sort of person who socialize with different group of people
One of my favorite things about him.

He's one the most hard-working guy I've ever met.
He doesn't mind sacrificing time as long he know it will benefit others.

There's so many things I can tell you about him.
He has a big heart, this guy.
He's one of the kind, and don't judge him harshly if you barely know him.
You weren't there when he's down and have to put up a lot of craps.

He's always there for you.
Whether you want him to be, or not.

This was form four. Or form five.
Crap I forgot!!

He taught me that it doesn't matter if the others put you down,
as long you don't put yourself down.
He taught me how to have a bigger heart as well.

He loves animal, and would take risks just to help them.
Once, he got attached to a puppy at our school,
so we both skip our duties and went to spent some time with the puppy.
[both of us were prefects]
We hide behind the guard house =D
Do you remember that Hean Tee?

He and his 'bitches' ;)
Modeling and looking damn gorgeous!

He always put himself down when it comes to speaking and writing in english,
I don't see why though, he has improved so much since then.
He started a diary when he was 13 but he never continue it much longer =D
I influenced him that's all [perasan]

I personally think he look somewhat sexually frustrated here.
=D

Aaand he look somewhat sexually satisfied here.
Lmao.

We always have great times together.
I remember our 'date' when we were 15.
Nobody else could make it so that leaves the two of us.
At Gurney =D
CLICK HERE TO READ A VERY EMBARRASSING BLOGPOST THREE YEARS AGO

I was wearing platforms [hence, TALLER than him]
People were giving us looks as if we're a couple.
We watched HSM3, along with other happy families or kids from primary school.
We were so out of place there .__.
My first time tasting the awesome-ness of Big Apple's Donuts.
My first time buying albums [which I regret now]
My first time wearing platforms to a mall xD

Photoshoot with em' peeps ;D
Everyone was looking gooooooood!

After our recent photoshoot, we went to Gurney again, just the two of us =D
He puts up with me as we walk from north to south searching for
"Suddenly Yours" - Allstar Weekend.
Thank you so much =)

And, last night.
A beach party for him =D
I'm glad I went, it was worth all the headaches I've got during the journey back and forth.
I hope you were having the time of your life Hean Tee!
Cause you deserve it!
WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?! [by the way]

This is where the "Oh Buddha.." jokes were invented,
I'll never, ever, forget any of you.

So Dear Hean Tee,

I'd like to personally thank you for being such a great friend to me. I know it's not easy to put up with a person like me. I'm cranky and impossible. Yet, you love me for who I am.
Let this be a post where we can read again years later, and laugh at the times we had together with the rest.
I love you buddy =D Nuff said!
And remember, you're an awesome guy. You can do miracles, and be a miracle.
I can't wait till the day our grand-kids will be friends together =D
[don't get me wrong, as in, me and my dream-guy, he and his dream girl]
[the thought of being in love with him is just, ew. I'd never see him anything else other than a best-friend material kind of guy]

BFFFL remember?
Best Fucking Friend For Life ;)

P.S Ugh. I hate orange. But for you. I'm blogging up as much orange as I could stand.

P.P.S I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. Love you =)

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

The few things you should know..

2011-05-29T23:01:00.003+08:00

Last day at work was pretty bittersweet,
I had fun, cause knowing it's my last day kinda makes my day.
My cousin just had to be there with my aunt and her guy,
she was pestering me days ago, demanding to know where I work.
So I told her,
"You are lucky, today is my last day."

I met another old primary friend.
We couldn't stop laughing when we realized its each other.
I miss her, she's got the most bubbly personality.

I was really happy when one of them decided to ask for my FB and number =)

I'm feeling rather down now after reading this book my mum just bought.
It's a true story, and I cried reading it.
Everyone should read that damn awesome book.
It's called "Beautiful" by Katie Piper.
Feel free to google about it.

P.S Peace out.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

It. Breaks. My. Heart.

2011-05-22T22:52:00.003+08:00

Another photoshoot this morning at the Botanical Garden,
I drove Tee, Hui and Fern.
No accident =D

Sun fetched Wei there, so there's only the six of us.
Joyce, Mic, Law and Ming couldn't make it =(
Nevertheless, we had fun.

It's rather easy to be happy around these bunch of peeps.
Check out the pictures HERE.

Went to Gurney with HT just like old times =)
It'll always be a blast hanging out with him,
he's one of the few I'll feel comfortable around with.
Love you LemonTee x)

I met this girl through Twitter.
She had been fighting cancer for the past four years up till now,
last night, she died, but revive again.
It's a miracle, but then, she IS the miracle.

When she passed out from too much pain and couldn't breathe,
she was sent to the hospital again.
Her elder cousin took over her twitter account to let us know.
I felt like crying as I exchange comfort words with her.
She's only 20 years old, how can life is so bloody unfair?
She radiates love and laughter.

Thank gawd she's better now. She make it through again.
I'll be exchanging messages with her later.
Different time-zone, so it's 8 in the morning there now =)
12 hours difference.

I really wish I can make a difference in everyone else life.
Love you everyone.

P.S I'm tired. Of the same old routine. It's time to spice things up!

P.P.S I'll never get tired of Allstar Weekend's songs though =)

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

I can't sleep tonight ;)

2011-05-19T22:41:00.006+08:00

Nuff said.

Forth day at work,
somewhat weird and nice at the same time.
The guy that kept talking to me didn't turn up for work,
and for a moment I was relieved.
But then another worker [a lady],
told me in BM that he's interested in me, and he's someone something.
I have no idea what she said about who he is, but I figured it was something like a "wow" factor,
so I shamelessly acted amaze. LOL.
The things I do from avoiding looking like a fool.

He DID turn up, but not for work.
He just shows up to ask for my number, and talked to me.
Half of the time I didn't really understand what he's saying,
he mumbles and only speaks in BM.
My BM is super weak so yeah.
Yet he doesn't give up when I said, "huh?", countless times.

And yes, I gave him my number.
I don't have the heart to say no .__.

Tumblr is awesome =)

The nice part is my partner.
For some unknown reason, he's the only one I feel comfortable around with.
The other guys just creeps me out, most of them anyway.
Some kept smiling at me, like they are happy to finally see a girl working there who's around their age.
Some kept saying "hi" whenever I walked by.

I feel so self-conscious around them,
except him LOL
I dare to laugh at him when he gets the orders mixed up.

Which reminds me, one of our customers was... dramatic.
He came back after he took his food, and told me,
"You're lucky my office is nearby else I would have kill you."
"Huh? Why sir?"
"You forgot my sauce."

Zamani [my partner] was the one who pack the food,
when the customer realized it's his fault,
he repeat what he said to him in BM.
I felt like rolling my eyes,
and I couldn't stop grinning when he walks away with his sauce.

Drama drama drama.

So, which one is yours? ;)
I have no idea which is mine.

Everything is working out for me so far.
I can do this.
Six hours is not forever.
A few more weeks I'd stop working already,
and earn some pocket money for myself as well.
My parents stopped giving me pocket money since I'm not in school anymore.
Not that I mind =)
After all, I'm living under a roof with good food and clothes.
They had to pay for my college funds as well.

I won't stop reminding myself to pay back my parents someday.
I owe them so much for being in my life and such.

I miss skittles!
One of the simplest yet nice candies =D
I remember my first date ever, he gave me these LOL

I had an awesome dream last night =)
I finally dreamt about Allstar Weekend dudes.

So they were around my neighborhood, and in reality there's no hotel around but in my dream, there's one with a swimming pool.
I remember passing by the hotel when I see the four of them.
Being a huge fan, I was excited that I finally got the chance to meet them.
I have no idea how I end up got the courage, but that's how dreams work.
The next thing I knew, I'm talking to all of them and inviting them to my house.
I remember talking to Michael the most [even though the one I want to meet the most is Cameron], and he told me something weird.

So here's the weird part,
I don't really remember how did the conversation goes, but more or less Michael found out I had a celebrity crush on Cameron, and he wasn't thrilled about it.
It turns out the three of them, had always pity Zachary because most of the girls like Cameron not him.
So that explains why Mike wasn't too happy to find out I'm another one of them.
And he tried to encourage me to like Zach instead of Cameron.

Dreams are just so... weird.

I like things like these
yet I don't favor the idea of wearing them around my neck.

I forgot to mention something =)
Last Friday I finally had the chance to fetch a friend =D
It's always been fetching my family members [ex. I fetch my dad to the airport this morning],
but last Friday I fetched Atiqah to the Relau Park.

It was sooo good to see her again!
We talk and talk and talk about our dreams and what ifs.
It's so nice to have someone who'd go along with my ridiculous dreams x)

P.S Tick tock, it's over. I know your time is running out - Allstar Weekend.

P.P.S I still can't wait for Sunday!! WOOOOOO!! Finally a hangout XD

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

Tick tock, it's closer...

2011-05-18T19:44:00.005+08:00

Meh.
I believe only love lasts forever.
Even though my grandfathers and grandmothers aren't here anymore,
I still love them.

First day at work is torturing.
I felt so clueless and stupid, not knowing what to do and just stare at the others rushing here and there to get orders ready.
It was Sunday, so naturally LOTS of customers.
I hate that six hours, very much =)

Am I the other 20% then?
Or, I've met him?
How the hell wouldn't I know it's him? =(

Second day at work was yesterday,
which happens to be a public holiday.
Like HELL as well -.-'
I tried my best learning how to use the erm, cashier.
It looks easy, but IT.ISN'T.AT.ALL.

It's super confusing and when you key-in the wrong order,
you need to find the one and only card to swipe through it in order to delete the order.
FRUSTRATING!
Made me felt so dumb too.

And the customers -.-'
One asked, "Are you Chinese or Malay?"
I honestly, felt like throwing the food at her.
Chinese woman, duh.
No offence [oh who am I kidding], but half of us Chinese people tend to look down on other races.
Celaka betul.
I can feel some of the customers staring weirdly at me,
like, "what the hell is that chinese girl working here for?"

.
..
...
....
Mind of your own business LA!
[I know I sound childish, but that's how I felt yesterday]

And they seem to see me as a girl who doesn't have an education life.
Which make things worse cause I AM not the study type.
Ask my friends, and family.
They ALL are aware of that.

Art is WAY more interesting than stupid exams.
I like to think myself as a creative type of person,
but nope.
I'm not creative enough.

My mum once told me that I'm smart.
Intelligent. [heartmelts]
But, [there's always a but]
I'm not interested, means I put my heart in it.
My mind just, refused to take studies seriously like others.
I can get distracted easily while studying subjects I have no interests in.
Heh. Sue me.

Apparently so is my youngest brother.
He's hyperactive, and that makes it harder for him to study.
I need a drink, so Be Right Back.

Five minutes later..
Back. So where was I?
Right. Me being "dumb".

This picture literally make me LOL
Kids are so adorable.

Anyways, today as third day of work.
Somewhat surprisingly enjoyable, and a little creepy.
Weekdays is enjoyable, less customers.
Which means able to take short breaks in between =)

I taught this guy, Zamani how to use the cashier.
It's his second day.
He's pretty smart, so I don't have problem handling the cashier over to him.
We work as a team, and we're coordinate [thank goodness for that].

Oh oh!
I know all the recipes for the Krushers' ;)
Cookies and Cream, Mocha, Strawberry Banana, and Blueberry.
I have this urge to drink them whenever I finish preparing those :P

And there's this other guy...
he kept talking to me today.
It's his second day of work as well, but first time seeing him around.
He kept talking to me like he's interested in me or something...[perasan]

And then I found out that, he had this chinese friend,
who passed away last year [a girl]
and apparently, I look like her... or something.
Now THAT, just freaks me out.
A LOT.

Is he trying to replace that close friend of his with me?

Yeah.
I wish.

Six hours everyday is enough for me.
Eight hours would be a total suicide.
So there you go,
my first few days at work.

I can't share everything there cause,
nahh =)
I rather keep em' a secret.

Did I mentioned Twitter is better than I thought?
I LOVE following people from all over the world =D
It's funny that when I'm about to sleep at midnight, it's only noon to some of them.
And when it's twelve in the noon, it's already midnight over there :O

Fascinating ;)

P.S I can't wait for Sunday. A chance to catch up with my friends. And some time to feel beautiful lmao x)

P.P.S I miss you people who are still in school too. Don't feel left out aite.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

Are you ready?

2011-05-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

I know I had share this on Facebook
But I find this super touching so yeah =)
Here's to those people who happen to came across my blog.

So it settles,
I register at Disted yesterday, going for SAM
which stands for South Australian Matriculation.
And NO I'm not going to Australia for that,
My family are not Rich enough to do so.

Starting at 13th June,
there's open day on 28th&29th May.
What are Open days for again?
Am I supposed to go?
*shrugs*

Cameron Quiseng x)
Nuff said.

Ann-Marie got me talking non-stop about Cameron again.
I can't stop babbling about him when someone starts to ask about him.
=O
Dai Yang Tian wasn't my first celebrity crush after all.
Cameron is. Heh.

Ann-Marie is an awesome listener by the way,
she listens and never asked me to shut up XD
Click here to read her blog ;)

Nathan, Zachary, Cameron and Michael.
Actually, I've got a soft spot for Michael too.
I like the way he see things judging from the way he tweets.

I'm not looking forward to work at KFC.
That's right, KFC.
I've been enjoying every single moment doing nothing serious for about a month,
I don't want it to end so soon =(
But weirdly, I really like the idea of studying and working at the same time.

By the way, the procedure to work for KFC is mentally tiring.
My mum and I spent two days droving here and there to get,
an injection before working there,
open up a bank account,
open another KWSP account,
taking passport pictures cause I'm out of it.

Bla bla bla.
Then later on went to buy a freaking belt [I had NEVER wore a proper belt].

I'm not ready to work,
I don't feel excited about working.
Argh. I need to change my attitude.

The picture says it all

So tomorrow is Friday the 13th
=D
Doesn't come by very often.
I wonder what will happen tomorrow...

Oh and it rains today! =D
I woke up with a smile on my face cause it rains!!
Cross fingers it will rain tomorrow morning ;)
or afternoon xD

Boo Keong just told me a joke by Ann-Marie,

Brunette: "I heard this year's Christmas gonna fall on Friday.."
Blonde: "OH MY... Hopefully it's not on 13th.."

If you're a blonde,
no offense x)

P.S I want an ipod touch so bad .___.

P.P.S And also Allstar Weekend's album!! I NEED IT!!!

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

Don't stop. Keep moving.

2011-05-11T10:20:00.003+08:00

Found it on tumblr x)

I'm growing up, to be an mini adult soon.
Wait till it's my birthday, and I'd be officially eighteen.
I'll have my own rights, and wow.
Adult.

I'm scared =/
I'm scared of changes, and I really miss being a kid.
Being an adult help so many responsibilities,
it's like the world wants you to stop having and be serious just about everything.
I hate that.

I'm glad I don't have to be someone I'm not.
My friends love me for who I am,
I think.

Allstar Weekend once quote that they take fun seriously,
and I'm going to keep that in mind forever.
I won't stop having fun and act mature all the time.
I want to continue doing silly things in public or get into minor trouble once all while.
And I know just the group of friends who'd be with me =D

Sue Ki, Joyce, and Atiqah.
There are countless of videos of us loosen up and couldn't care less of what the rest think of us.
There's once in McD after school, we took a video of us just being us.
Joyce tried dropping Ice-cubes into our shirts,
Sue Ki actually squeal REAL loud which make us laugh all over again.
Joyce purposely dropped ketchup on the floor and started shouting at Ash,
"WEI!! WHY YOU DROP IT ON THE FLOOR?!?!"

I swear, everyone was looking at us.
Ash was laughing so hard that she couldn't stop her weird laugh.
I was holding her phone video-ing it all,
I remember doubling over cause my stomach hurts from laughing and I hit my forehead right on the table... "BANG!"

.
..
...
....
It was such a loud noise =O
Other people stared.
And we continued laughing at each other.

So I'm planning on saving up money,
and live my dream.
So Im'ma go find a part-time job while studying ;)

Oolala I'm gonna have so much fun reading this post after ten years =D
Provided I can still keep on blogging.
Anyhooo,
guys, I just want you to know how much I miss ya'll =)
Joyce, Ash, and Ki.

High School would be so different without ya'll.
I had this crazy vision that the four of us could go 'fourplet' date with Allstar Weekend x)
Micheal is the egoistic dude, Joyce would be perfect for him.
Nathan is the sweet caring guy, he'd know how to take care of you Ash ;)
Zachary has two sides, he may seem sensible but he ISN'T at all, Ki wants him so yeah.
Cameron is the most random guy ever, I'd pick him out of four [HAHA I WISH]

This is really stupid but it came to my mind once and I just had to share it XD
But sighs,
that's the dream x)

Usually I'm more of a go-with-the-flow type of person,
but this time I think I might need to plan a little more for my future.

And one more thing,
I know the storm is over about my sister's [Sue Ki] haircut.
But HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
I honestly thought she would NEVER do that too ;D
She had long hair since primary up till lately.
I was the ugly one with short hair throughout primary =O

When I was form one only I decided to leave it longer than shoulder length.
But ever since, she's always the one with the prettier and longer hair.
So now =D
It's my TURN!
I mean, the longer hair part, not the prettier part.

I hope she's reading this cause,
Hey Sue Ki =)
I can do this now [points below picture]

[flips my hair gracefully]
Can you? ;)

That was uncalled for but I just had to XD
But honestly sister, you look great =)
You're still as pretty as ever and nobody thinks you're ugly so yeah.
Love ya! =D

P.S I'm NOT cutting my hair that short. Ever. I think.

P.P.S Twitter is better than I thought. Follow me if you wish to, @FWSuzzy.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

Happy Mothers' Day!

2011-05-09T12:44:00.003+08:00

One of my personal favorites ;)
Michelle did a great job, considering it was her first time!

So last Friday, I drove to Michelle's house.
And we had a little photo shooting.
To be honest, we both have no idea what are we trying to do...
We were both like,
"Errr... so now go where?"

So I truly think she did a great job,
she puts up with me x)
Cause I gotta be the worst model, ever.
We had fun, and that's what matters!

She showed me some of her work,
and I was super impressed :O
And we spent one hour or so talking, catching up.
Gawd I miss high school.

This,
got to be one of the cutest picture I've ever seen.
I miss you kiddo :(

Mothers' Day was yesterday,
but in some countries its not over yet ;)
So HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!

Mum,
you're one of the greatest person in my life.
You're so different from other mums.
You don't bribe us with rewards, instead,
you surprised us with rewards.
You gave us endless housework to do,
and because of that, I think I'm going to be a great mum [in the future]
just like you.

You're constantly telling us that looks doesn't matter.
What matters the most is the beauty of our heart.
You felt frustrated when we made you wait for us in the car.
And that teaches us to be punctual.
After a fight, you'd come over and give me a hug,
and I'd hug you back, and whisper sorry.

I love you so much,
and I make sure you know that.
When I grew up,
I want to be a great mum too.
So thank you so much for teaching me everything.
And thank you for putting up with us four crazy kids!

Is...
that true?

I may seem distant.
But that's only because I need some time to myself.
I need to think, and make a lot of decisions.
It'll never be easy for me to give something up,
something that I truly want the most.
But life's tough, you can't always get what you want.
So instead of going straight for it,
you have to be sneaky.

Play games with fate, and you might just end up with your goal with a different, tougher path.
I'll be sneaky.
Cause when I want something bad, I go for it.
I won't even think about giving up.

P.S Seriously? I can't sleep without listening to Allstar Weekend first =)

P.P.S Everyone is parting ways. But that doesn't mean that's the end of our friendships. Hugs.

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft

I do not know what to do. Honestly.

2011-05-04T22:54:00.004+08:00

They inspired me somehow
To be truthful to my parents, and myself about what I really want.

It's eleven, and I'm not sleepy.
These days I hadn't been able to sleep until its three or four in the morning.
And I woke up around ten in the morning, or later.

I love taking advantage of being home alone,
singing the top of my lungs, or just write quietly.
It depends on my mood =)

I swear,
one day I'm gonna try this =D

Allstar Weekend songs are super addictive,
I need to listen to their few songs before going to bed x)

COME DOWN WITH LOVE
You've got me trippin' on my feet
My mind starts racing and my heart forgets to beat
When you start to walk my way
I forget where I am, can't find the words to say

Dear Cameron =D
I think I talked non-stop about him these days.

So now I'm between options, again.
To go for what I really love, it would be a hard road.
A super crazy hard journey.
To be on the safe side, it would be my second option.
But it won't be that satisfying as my first option.

*Heart torn into two*
Not by love, but by decisions =/

That, is so true.
Everyone needs to be beautiful on the inside as well =)

I think time would tell me what to do.
If not, my heart.
Right now, I just wish I'm rich so I wouldn't have to waste my parents' money.

I MIGHT be going for form six,
MIGHT.
MAYBE.
NOT SURE.

I never wanted to go for form six =(
I know I'll have no interest in it and I'll be wasting my time.
*cross fingers*

My desktop wallpaper ;)
He's got the most beautiful green eyes and the sexiest messy hair.

I'll tell you when I'm ready to tell you.
Don't rush me please, I'm pressuring myself already =)

P.S The more I listen to their songs, the more positive I get. The more I listen to people talking, the more negative I feel.

P.P.S I shall quote one of my favourite quote. "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end."

XOXO
Suezie aka Darkling Lovecraft